The Babysitter
by hersummerdreams
Summary: Roxas, at 16, is too old for a babysitter... so when his parents hire one he is determined to make their life a living hell. Even if the guy is a pyromaniac... AkuRoku, eventually.


_**Disclaimer: **I don't own, or claim to own, Kingdom Hearts. Not mine. If I did own Kingdom Hearts, there would be a lot less darkness and a lot more buttsecks. 8D **A lot** more buttsecks. n.n_

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**Author's note: **My third story and my first AkuRoku. I love this pairing and always wanted to write a fanfic about them… this'll probably end up being a six part chapter plus this painfully short prologue… shout out to Carmine Complex! XD Check mah favourites for it, one of the best AkuRoku fics on the web.

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**Warning: **Rated for male slash and a strange sense of humour that no one else will ever find funny. Not even Tayels. o.o

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**The Babysitter**

**Chapter 1**

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"But I'm sixteen now mum, I don't **NEED** a babysitter."

"But sweetie, we don't want to leave you by yourself for a whole weekend! A night maybe, but not two whole days! Besides, who would look after Sora?"

Roxas gave his mum the coldest glare he could, his arms folded across his chest. He was sixteen goddamnit – in high school! If his mum still didn't think he could take care of himself, then he'd made a huge mistake somewhere along the line. He just wished he could think where.

"I can take care of him!! He's fifteen, not three."

His mum paused in clipping her hair back and sighed lightly, smoothing down her dress. "Honey, it's just this weekend. I'll come straight home after the conference, I promise. As soon as I can."

The blonde opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by the baritone voice of his dad.

"Son, listen to your mother. This is a great opportunity for you to meet someone new; you spend way too much time on that computer. Anyway, what happened to Kairi? She was a nice girl…"

Roxas rolled his eyes and counted to ten, breathing in and out slowly. He didn't want to hear this – it was a speech he'd heard a thousand times.

"Dad, I haven't spoken to Kairi since she changed schools in grade seven, remember?"

"I thought she'd be your girlfriend by now."

He felt like hitting his head on something hard. Repeatedly. His gaze rested angrily on the doorway through which he could see his dad in front of the mirror, running over his chin with a razor.

"I don't have a girlfriend because I'm gay, remember?"

"Oh right." His dad replied, with the air of someone who'd just been told it was supposed to be sunny the next day… which meant he wasn't even listening.

"I think it'll be fun!" A voice from the door said. Sora's brunette spikes poked through the opening, a wide grin aimed at his older brother.

"That's just because you'll sneak off with Riku for the weekend," he hissed under his breath so that his parents didn't hear. As much as his little brother annoyed him, he respected his right to choose when and where to admit to the oldies that, like Roxas, he was as straight as a corkscrew.

Sora smirked. "As I said, it'll be fun." He just had time to duck out of the doorway before the blonde threw a shoe at him. A high heeled shoe, which probably would've impaled an eye. Ah, brotherly love.

His mother wearily retrieved it and slid it on, grabbing her handbag on the way out the door – both his parent's suitcases were already in the car.

Roxas waited another five minutes, but the argument was not continued – so instead he choose to follow his mother down to the living room and sit on the couch with Sora, who pegged the remote at him.

Unfortunately, his reflexes weren't all that great and it hit him in the head, causing a splitting headache within a few seconds.

"I hate you." He said through clenched teeth. If they'd been alike in any way besides their sexual preference – they may've had a chance of getting along… but Sora and Roxas were like chalk and cheese.

One was… edible, and dairy, with holes in it – and the other one was used to write on the board and… screw it, he never did understand that analogy.

His head gave a particularly large throb and suddenly he wanted to cry.

Before he burst into melodramatic tears and stomped up to his room, however, something happened that stopped him in his tracks. The worst sound in the world and the last one he wanted to hear.

The doorbell was ringing.

Roxas winced at the sound and clamped a pillow over his head, muffling the screeching sound. Maybe if he sat still and just ignored it, it would go away. Then he could stay by himself for the weekend.

He could play his game s'more, watch some movies… chill out on the couch, eat pizza, stay up all night… maybe he'd even finish his latest book, Carmine Complex.

Yeah, he'd like that…

"ROXAS OR SORA, WOULD ONE OF YOU GET THAT?!"

Why were his fantasies always so short lived? He raised the pillow slightly, hesitantly, but when he peeked out from underneath it there was no one in sight. Stupid Sora.

"Fine..." He muttered angrily, wrenching the pillow off his head and chucking it back on the couch, glaring at the door as though it'd committed an unspeakable sin. If looks could kill, the wood would've been splinters five seconds ago.

Grumbling to himself, he stood from the couch and approached the door – the buzzing sound becoming louder and louder.

"I'M COMING!" He yelled, undoing the dead lock. He couldn't help but peek out first though, and was surprised when he saw what looked like a porcupine on fire.

He abandoned his original idea of refusing to open the door, because being the animal lover he was, Roxas couldn't resist a small, fluffy (or in this case, spiky) thing in trouble.

Sometimes he wished he'd never opened that stupid door.

But he did, but the man standing there was not the little old lady babysitter they were expecting, wasn't a porcupine and wasn't on fire – though his head looked like it was.

Roxas took in the teardrop tattoos under his eyes.

The lazy smirk.

The entire black ensemble.

Even the spiky thing that had made its nest on his head.

He then blinked twice, screamed "RAPIST!" and promptly passed out.

Nope, he never should've opened that door.

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**Preview of next chapter: **Sora sneaks off and Roxas struggles to cope with the pyromaniac who just walked in. XD


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